"Actor Suicida"
Inspiration
The inspiration for this shoot came from my mother and her love of poetry. She was first exposed to famous poets by her father who would recite them to her and her siblings at the dinner table every night. Her passion continued into high school where she competed in a poetry contest and won an award for first place. Tone of voice, empathy for the characters, and emotional intension is what drives the art of poetry, making its artists stand out from others.
Juan de Dios Peza & Synopsis
The poem that this project is based on is titled Reír Llorando, and was written by a famous Mexican poet named Juan de Dios Peza.
“Yo les llamo a los muertos mis amigos; y les llamo a los vivos mis verdugos.”
“I call the dead my friends; I call the living my executioners.”
After explaining his predicament to the therapist, he is prescribed to go and watch the famous clown named Garrik. Garrik is a famous comedian/clown who was born a nobleman with all the riches in the world, who possesses the love of a woman, and who still manages to be lonely in life. Once given his prescription, the man laughs and reveals his true identity, that of Garrik.
Goal
This project is my attempt at creating a visual representation of Reír Llorando. My goal was to work with a model that could express the emotional range of the character, and of course a person who was willing to, in many ways, “embrace the ugly side” of life.
Embracing the Ugly
Since my second semester at AAU I have been on the hunt for actors and dancers. I’ve learned that these two types of artists have different ways of interpreting emotions. Dancers express through body language and movement, while actors express themselves through their face. Both artists are incredibly valuable and wonderful to work with.
However, one quality that I have encountered, beginning with my years as a dancer and carrying on into my time at the Academy, is that artists are often very self-conscious and do not like to “embrace the ugly.” Some artists that I have worked with only want to look pretty. Not just women, I have met many men who fear the ugly. These are people, young and old, who fear being too real and imperfect in front of the camera. It takes a brave person to take risks, and this is why I called to my mother.
Casting Mama
My mother has been my muse for as long as I started picking up a camera. Many people have said that she should consider acting because of her ability to empathize and channel into what people are feeling. Her knowledge of psychology and of people is a big factor in how she has managed to portray these deep characters in front of the camera year after year. My mother is not afraid to “embrace the ugly.” It’s because of her willingness to play in front of the camera, too not hid behind a perfect face of makeup, that I was able to take these pictures and create something much more raw and meaningful.
Here is a sneak peek of the project.
©AliciaM.BlairPhotograph
Side Note: This poem also reminds me of two very famous comedic actors, Robin Williams and Charlie Chaplin. R.I.P.
If you wish to view the full series, please visit my website by clicking on the link below.
http://www.aliciamblairphotography.com/2848828-reir-llorando
The Poems
Reír Llorando
Viendo a Garrick -actor de la Inglaterra-
el pueblo al aplaudirlo le decía:
“Eres el más gracioso de la tierra,
y más feliz…” y el cómico reía.
Víctimas del spleen, los altos lores
en sus noches más negras y pesadas,
iban a ver al rey de los actores,
y cambiaban su spleen en carcajadas.
Una vez, ante un médico famoso,
llegóse un hombre de mirar sombrío:
sufro -le dijo-, un mal tan espantoso
como esta palidez del rostro mío.
Nada me causa encanto ni atractivo;
no me importan mi nombre ni mi suerte;
en un eterno spleen muriendo vivo,
y es mi única pasión la de la muerte.
-Viajad y os distraeréis. -¡Tanto he viajado!
-Las lecturas buscad. -¡Tanto he leído!
-Que os ame una mujer. -¡Si soy amado!
-Un título adquirid. -¡Noble he nacido!
-¿Pobre seréis quizá? -Tengo riquezas.
-¿De lisonjas gustáis? -¡Tantas escucho!
-¿Qué tenéis de familia? -Mis tristezas.
-¿Vais a los cementerios? -Mucho… mucho.
-De vuestra vida actual ¿tenéis testigos?
-Sí, mas no dejo que me impongan yugos:
yo les llamo a los muertos mis amigos;
y les llamo a los vivos, mis verdugos.
Me deja -agrega el médico- perplejo
vuestro mal, y no debe acobardaros;
tomad hoy por receta este consejo
“Sólo viendo a Garrick podréis curaros”.
-¿A Garrik? -Sí, a Garrick… La más remisa
y austera sociedad le busca ansiosa;
todo aquel que lo ve muere de risa;
¡Tiene una gracia artística asombrosa!
-¿Y a mí me hará reír? -¡Ah! sí, os lo juro;
Él sí; nada más él; más… ¿qué os inquieta?
-Así -dijo el enfermo-, no me curo:
¡Yo soy Garrick!… Cambiadme la receta.
¡Cuántos hay que, cansados de la vida,
enfermos de pesar, muertos de tedio,
hacen reír como el actor suicida,
sin encontrar para su mal remedio!
¡Ay! ¡Cuántas veces al reír se llora!
¡Nadie en lo alegre de la risa fíe,
porque en los seres que el dolor devora
el alma llora cuando el rostro ríe!
Si se muere la fe, si huye la calma,
si sólo abrojos nuestra planta pisa,
lanza a la faz la tempestad del alma
un relámpago triste: la sonrisa.
El carnaval del mundo engaña tanto,
que las vidas son breves mascaradas;
aquí aprendemos a reír con llanto,
y también a llorar con carcajadas.
To Laugh While Crying
Watching Garrik – an actor from England –
the people would say applauding:
“You are the funniest one on earth
and the happiest one…”
And the comedian would laugh.
Victims of melancholy, the highest lords,
during their darkest and heaviest nights
would go see the king of actors
and change their melancholy into roars of laughter.
Once, before a famous doctor,
came a man with eyes so somber:
“I suffer – he said -, an illness so horrible
as this paleness of my face”
“Nothing holds any enchantment or attractiveness;
I don’t care about my name or my fate
I die living an eternal melancholy
and my only hope is that of death”.
– Travel and distract yourself
– I’ve traveled so much!
– Search for readings
– I’ve read so much!
– Have a woman love you
– But I am loved
– Get a title
– I was born a noble
– Might you be poor?
– I have richnesses
– Do you like compliments?
– I hear so many!
– What do you have as a family?
– My sadness
– Do you go to the cemeteries?
– Often, very often.
– Of your current life, do you have witnesses?
– Yes, but I don’t let them impose their burdens;
I call the dead my friends;
I call the living my executioners.
– It leaves me – added the doctor – perplexed
your illness and I must not scare you;
Take today this advise as a prescription
only watching Garrik you can be cured.
-Garrik?
-Yes, Garrik… The most indolent
and austere society anxiously seeks him;
everyone who sees him, dies of laughter;
he has an amazing artistic grace.
– And me? Will he make me laugh?
-Ah, yes, I swear it;
he and no one but him; but… what disturbs you?
-So– said the patient – I won’t be cured;
I am Garrik! Change my prescription.
How many are there who, tired of life,
ill with pain, dead with tedium,
make others laugh as the suicidal actor,
without finding a remedy for their illness!
Ay! How often we laugh when we cry!
Nobody trust the merriment of laughter,
because in those beings devoured by pain,
the soul groans when the face laughs!
If faith dies, if calm flees,
if our feet only step on thistles,
the tempest of the soul hurls to the face,
a sad lighting: a smile.
The carnival of the world is such a trickster,
that life is but a short masquerade;
here we learn to laugh with tears
and also to cry with laughter.
Photo & Retouching: Alicia M. Blair Photography
Model: Susana Blair
MU, Styling, Hair: Susana & Alicia Blair
Thanks for reading!
Alicia M. Blair